tabletalk

Your Church's Story: Symbols of Your DNA

This is completely stolen from "Transforming Church" by Kevin Ford. It's a great book and quite helpful. What I hope to do here is give you examples of things that reflect the "dna" of a particular church. Why? Because when the chips are down and we feel stressed we will return in our behavior to the patterns of the past. Also, though these things are always operating in the background and even the foreground of our institutions, these symbols, actions, values, character, they don't need to be responded to in the same way as we might have a few years ago. For me as the son of an alcoholic, I won't change that or how it has shaped my life. But the reality is that I no longer respond to that past in the same ways I did when I was 16 or even 50. But if I don't know how the alcoholic past plays out in my life I am at its mercy and can live out the same craziness. Don't know if this makes sense. But the reality is there is no value to ignorance and knowing our "dna" as a church is critical to being able to respond to it with intelligence and not be victims to our pasts.

Ford suggests there are four symbols to explore that will show us our "dna" or as he puts it our "code" as a church. For him these are the myths, the heroes, the rituals, and the visuals. Over the next few posts I want to explore each of these and give them legs as I understand how it works. My hope? That we'll take a more serious view of the things that have shaped our life together in our congregations so we can respond to it in the light. So that it doesn't operate in the shadows but out where we can see it and make healthy choices and habits.

I believe in my version of "Transforming Church" you can find this around page 82....

Lewis For Lent 2: A Welcome Into the Heart of Things

“But we pine. The sense that in this universe we are treated as strangers, the longing to be acknowledged, to meet with some response, to bridge some chasm that yawns between us and reality, is part of our inconsolable secret. And surely, from this point of view,, the promise of glory, in the sense described,, become highly relevant to our deep desire. For glory means good report with God, acceptance by God, response, acknowledgment, and welcome into the heart of things. The door upon which we have been knocking all our lives will open at last.” The Weight of Glory p. 40-41

Giving things up for Lent. I’ve never been very good at it. It almost always resulted in a trivial act. By trivial I mean it was always about me losing weight, or eating healthy or going to bed on time or reading the right things so I will feel better about my life. It almost always resulted in what Lewis described at the beginning of his sermon, The Weight of Glory, “as if my abstinence [and my happiness] and not others’ happiness” was the important point Many times we Christians stop in our development at what we get from God, rather than what God intends to do through us.

Lewis at this point of the sermon, touches on a very real intuition – “The sense that in this universe we are treated as strangers….” And this being “part of our inconsolable secret.” The we, Lewis refers to, is all of us - humanity. We are all longing to be acknowledged, to be met with a response, to know we are part of an ultimate reality that takes us seriously. When the door to Christ is opened we are no longer strangers to the universe, to God, to each other or ourselves. We fit in. We are part of something bigger.

When we become aware that God in Christ regards us, acknowledges us, meets us and makes us part of an eternal reality that he has created, we also become aware that it is not just for us, but for US! The bigger ‘US’ called humanity. We become aware that our invitation to come through the door is not merely to feel good about being insiders. Our inclusion is all about coming and going through that door. To go out and meet those who are still strangers and regard them, pay attention to them, to include them in the same way that God has included us. We share the glory of God, cast upon our lives, with those around us. We show people the door….not to usher them out but usher them in. We want to extend “a welcome into the heart of things” as Lewis says.

Lewis for Lent 1

"If you asked twenty good men [people] today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old he would have replied, Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love. The New Testament has a lot to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself." C.S. Lewis - The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses, 2001 Harper Collins San Francisco p. 25-25 - The opening words of the sermon.

I find myself in more and more conversations where this statement by Lewis is most relevant. Many in our time believe the Christian faith to be about denying people things. We deny them fun, approval, attention, even heaven itself. We withhold and withdraw. We become a people who hold on to God’s love as though it were a possession not an action.

Aristotle defined a prodigal as one who has wasted their substance. We see this clearly in Luke 15. The flip side of that same coin is the story of the elder brother. It seems that the religious problem is not in wasting our substance but in withholding it. This is one of Jesus’ points. You can be outside of what God desires for humanity by wasting what you have. You can also be outside of it by withholding your resources from others.

In this time of Lent, it is especially significant that we understand that our abstinence is all about securing “good things” for others. When we “give up” our time, our energies, our safety, our ‘fill-in-the-blank’, we do it with an eye to what we can do for others. I can lower my grocery bill by clipping coupons. Does it result in greater generosity?

Love, like Faith, is a verb, not a possession. It is an action to be taken, not a commodity to collect. Let’s consider how to “do good things” in this season that leads up to Easter, so that others will give glory to God.

Missional Church: A Field Guide - Stay the Course When Facing Conflict

"This is the fifth transformational key. It is important for healthy, Spirit-led leadership to stay the course when facing conflict by practicing truth telling as an opportunity for learning and growing together." p.96

There is a difference between problems and conflict. Problems are well, challenges that have solutions that can be derived when we put our heads together and work on them. They are more like tasks that need some good thinking.

Conflict on the other hand is personal. Conflict is always more than a problem-solving task. Underneath it has feelings, history, unconscious responses, and much much more. Conflict is not rational though it will have rationality as part of it's resolve. I may be in conflict with someone not because I disagree with their ideas, but because something in them, the way they talk or act, has reached into my sub or unconscious and grabbed ahold of my sensibilities. I then become reactive - often unknowingly. It's like the physical and psychological response we get from some smells. It catches us off-guard.

The key in both conflict and difficult times (knowing they are not the same) is to stay the course. This is where the non-reactive, non-anxious leadership role is most needed. The true key then is to stay in the room long enough to find out what is really going on. This could take a long time or not.

Often conflict is masked by a more publicly appropriate disagreement over a policy or theological position. While we hammer away at trying to convince others of the rightness of our positions, we wonder why no one's mind is changed. Sometimes we give up and walk away believing the other side simply will never "get it". Admittedly there are real disagreements that have no earthly solution. But most of the time I would wager that we simply walk away too early and never get at the root sources of our perceived problems and underlying conflicts.

I'm reminded of the description of liminality. Liminal is that place in-between. It is the desert wilderness. It is the no man's land between adolescence and adulthood. It is the waiting place where there seems no resolve. I believe it is Richard Rohr who said that the key to leadership is to assist people who have been in that in-between place for a long time and are ready to leave to stay. And to beckon into the room those who want to avoid the desert wilderness to join in with the others. And then to stay put. Stay long enough until the solution, the truth is known. Don't settle. Don't run away. Don't give up. Stay put until God removes you from the in-between.

This is what missional leadership needs to do when it is blocked or challenged or confronted. Stay put. Stay the course. Wait. Pray. Be. Until you know God has spoken and moved. Let God be the truth teller to all gathered. Let's not be the ones to give only one side of the truth - ours!

Missional Church: A Field Guide - Cultivate a Healthy Climate

In this chapter, Van Gelder and Rouse use one of my favorite descriptions of significant leadership - "Convey a non-anxious presence." This is also a theme in "The Starfish and the Spider". The authors comment that this kind of leadership is more reflective and thoughtful in nature. "They are able to stand back from a situation and observe with some objectivity what is really going on." They quote from Peter Steinke's work, "Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times" - "The leader's 'presence' can have a calming influence on reactive behavior. Rather than reacting to the reactivity of others, leaders with self-composure and self-awareness both exhibit and elicit a more thoughtful response." - P.76 in Field Guide.

The words worth paying attention to are: non-anxious, observe, reflective, thoughtful, non-reactive, self-composure, self-awareness. Where are these abilities developed? For me they are learned behavior. My growing up years and subsequent survival years as an adult were managed by being "in-charge" and assertive. I was a reactive (and often still am) leader. I could go along with the group until I felt it turning away from where I wanted things to go, or thought they should go. Then I would assert my leadership role. This was born out of anxiety. The anxiety was that, like my growing up years, I was moving into an area where I was out-of-control. This was an invitation to chaos and that was unacceptable.

How then does that change? It doesn't happen in the crucible of leadership crisis. I believe it happens when that crucible casts us out into the desert and we are faced with ourselves. There we need to take time to listen, and observe, and reflect, and learn how to be non-anxious with our desert circumstances. By desert I mean those dry places of our lives, those places where our supports have been taken away. The places where we are exposed for our frailty and we are vulnerable. It may the desert of our hearts and minds that no one but God can see, but it is still a wilderness.

My anxious self would want to fix the circumstance and run forward into some other place where I could control my environment. But that only serves to hide my anxiety. No, the key is to learn to remain with my anxious self until the anxiety is attended to and made peace with. It's ok to be anxious. But my anxiety must not rule my actions. So I make peace with it when I can. Acknowledge it. Understand it. Offer it up. Hand it over. Live in it. Until it's affect is diminished.

This is the critical step to being able to handle other people's anxiety. It keeps my anxious self from getting mixed up in the anxieties of others. Then I am not reactive in leadership. I am able to allow for other's anxiety to be expressed. It's ok to be anxious. But let us not allow our anxiety to rule the day.

Jesus comments on this in the Sermon on the Mount. Something about birds and God's love for human beings and tomorrow. It is truly an act of faith to be non-anxious. The road there is through the desert wilderness of our own souls.

Just a note: The expert, the CEO, the driven leader....they will only add to the organization's anxiety not diminish it. At some point it all falls down.

Post-Advent: C.S. Lewis - After the Resurrection

Christmas Eve, my friend Jerry Tankersley used a section from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe that I want to use here. After Aslan, the great Christ-Lion of Lewis's Narnia tales, returns to life, he takes the girls, Lucy and Susan to the Witch's house. This is what happens.

"What an extraordinary place!" cried Lucy. "All those stone animals-and people too! It's like a museum."
"Hush," said Susan, "Aslan's doing something."
He was indeed. He had bounded up to the stone lion and breathed on him....
..."Oh, Susan! Look! Look at the lion."
I expect you've seen someone put a lighted match to a bit of newspaper which is propped up in a grate against an unlit fire. And for a second nothing seems to have happened; and then you notice a tiny streak of flame creeping along the edge of the newspaper. It was like that now. For a second after Aslan had breathed upon him the stone lion looked just the same. Then a tiny streak of gold began to run along his white marble back - then it spread - then the colour seemed to lick all over him as the flame licks all over a bit of paper - then, while his hind-quarters were still obviously stone the lion shook his mane and all the heavy, stony folds rippled into living hair. Then he opened a great red mouth, warm and living, and gave a prodigious yawn. And now his hind legs had come to life. He lifted one of them and scratched himself. Then, having caught sight of Aslan, he went bounding after him and frisking round him whimpering with delight and jumping up to lick his face...Everywhere the statues were coming to life. The courtyard looked no longer like a museum; it looked more like a zoo."

Two observations. First, I'm reminded often that Presbyterians have, in recent years, been identified as God's frozen chosen. Along with my previous post, I believe it is true enough of many. It is like we have been frozen by the Witch's wand into stony statues. Part of the wonder of Christmas is the unfreezing of human hearts. This is the childlikeness I spoke of earlier. One of the tasks of Christmas for the church is to breathe God's Spirit into the world and bring it to life. For many Christians, it is having Christ break the spell first - we've fallen asleep and become "the frozen chosen". Animated not for their own sake, but so that they can assist in turning other statues into real beings.

Second, I'm reminded that when we do invite new life, particularly in the church where we have become content with being the non-messy statuary, it will look more like a zoo than a museum. A lot messier. A lot more exciting. Certainly more challenging. Don't forget this. If new life is moving into your static congregation or set of friends, it will be more like a zoo. Nothing will be status quo and you can't force it backwards.

The world needs to be transformed into Christ's living beings. But so does the church. Too often we are content to stay in the statue garden. Christ brings life-giving breath to all. May he begin with us this season.

Missional Church: A Field Guide - Discipling Communities

Growing and healthy congregations have several things in common. One, is that their growth and health is related directly to the emphasis and quality of their disciple making.

In this book by Rouse and Van Gelder, they make these observations about congregations that focus on developing disciples.

1. They are not as concerned about numbers; and more concerned with how well people are living their faith and sharing the gospel.
2. They are not as concerned about how well they care for members; and more concerned with how they serve needs of the world around them.
3. They are not as concerned about maintaining institution (structure); and more concerned with empowering people for ministry.
4. They are not as concerned about preserving facilities (ownership); and more concerned with offering them as a gift to their community. p.61

These are paradoxical qualities and actions. One would intuit that to grow a church you would focus on evangelism. But that isn't the case. Focus on the evangelists, training your people to give. Missional church character is developed as a paradox. It is the mirror of the gospel. Don't hold on to what you've got, give it away. Don't focus on your needs, but the needs of others. Don't try to preserve things, but use them up. Don't bury your resources for a rainy day, invest them.

All of this is gospel message. It's nothing new to us. But our implementation of the gospel is sorely lacking. If we follow the paradoxical teachings, like losing our lives, then the end result is we gain our lives.

There is a great scene in the first Harry Potter movie where the children are tangled in a plant. The more they struggle the more they are entangled and their lives are threatened. Hermione remembers her lessons and tells the boys to relax and stop struggling. Harry is able to and drops through the branches safely. Ron continues to struggle and must be rescued.

The gospel lessons are there for us to remember. I'm reminded often of how difficult it is to fall asleep when you focus on falling asleep. Or how uncomfortable it is when someone really works at being your friend and the result is anything but friendship. The goal isn't to grow the church, it's to follow Jesus. The goal isn't mission, it's following Jesus. The goal isn't institutional salvation, it's following Jesus. And when we do - and rest (relax) in him, we find that the very things we would have aimed at get thrown in as side benefits of keeping ourselves focused.

Remember, that discipleship is never solitary. It is never intended for the self-satisfaction of the individual. It is always gospel oriented, which means it is good news to all people.

* a note. This week I will be home surrounded by my books and my beloved C.S. Lewis. I will break with this Missional Church blog and do some Advent observations from Lewis. Yea!

Missional Church: A Field Guide - Unmasking Principalities and Powers

I believe this is one of the most understated roles of the church. Partly because the church has to risk its very life to do this. For me, most mega-churches ride the wave of cultural acceptability. They rarely risk unmasking the "prevailing plausibility structures" which is how Newbigin describes the principalities and powers. What most culturally driven congregations do is baptize the prevailing culture and say something like, "You just need to add Jesus to your life and it will all make sense." The key here is that culture isn't questioned, and the only thing missing is a spiritual component that will "round out" a person's life - meaning and fulfillment will follow.

The irony is it fails to ask anyone to give up anything (except for money to build the facilities that give the impression of success!) I have a friend that would like to challenge the title of a book "From Success to Significance". He would like the next book to skip the 'significance' stage and move straight from success to sacrifice. It think Jon's right. It isn't until we unmask the things that have power to shape and guide culture and us, that we will begin to demonstrate the power of the Gospel.

Many have said that our wealth masks our needs. It gives us a false sense of security. It is true that our current economic situation is unmasking the false promises of false gods.

The church needs to consider doing this intentionally, not merely accidentally. That is we need to say no to those things that give us security and value and importance that are not born in God. We also need to unmask the motives of holding power and influence in our seemingly spiritual acts. The reason my friend suggests that we need to skip the significance part of the above equation is that we can still use all our manipulative and power holding skills to move ahead a very spiritual agenda, and God can be no where in sight. The means are the end for true spiritual success. So we need to give up our own powerful means so that God's means can be seen clearly.

I did a research project some years ago. In it I asked if preaching shaped the missional practices and character of newly forming congregations. The surprise wasn't that it did, but how much it did. The most interesting part of the research to me, however, was that what 'wasn't preached' equally had an effect on the church. In those congregations where social justice and prophetic challenges were absent, so were justice practices and prophetic actions. What we don't say speaks volumes.

At this point it is Paul's admonition in 2 Corinthians that informs me. "We have this treasure in fragile clay vessels to prove that this light doesn't come from us, but comes from God."

Principalities (princely or governing powers) and powers (culture shaping energy, say like advertising or nationalism), that tell us "the way things are" can only be unmasked when we demonstrate that they are wrong. We do this in weakness and reliance. We do this in brokenness and vulnerability. We get there through tragedy and sacrifice and identifying our lives more closely with those who have not, than those who have.

Why else do you think Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem? Jesus unmasked the principalities and powers in his incarnation. We need to get inside Jesus' life and live there.

Advent - Waiting Rooms

"You were born for a time such as this". And so, many people I know have listened to this verse as a description of the 'greatness' of the moment and as a kind of benediction on their lives and ministries. It means, beneath the surface, that they are called to a significant role in history. Like Esther, they are important.

We all want to be important. We all want to be significant 'players' on the stage of history.

Advent can be seen this way, as the kairos moment on the verge of changing the world. And it is - really! But Advent itself tries to teach us the lesson of the waiting room.

This is not a new image for Advent, but it is an observation for our time. I've been in a few waiting rooms in my life. Lots of them actually. And at this time in my life I know what to do in them. There are a few practices that may prove helpful for you that I've learned along the way and recently reflected on when I was sitting in a hospital waiting room a few weeks ago.

First, once you arrive don't be anxious about needing to talk to someone or seeing the people you came to encourage. Don't be anxious about your part. Your part is essentially done. You are present.

Second, be considerate of others in the waiting room - especially people who are not part of your concerned group. Listen, watch, help where you can. It may mean offering a chair or opening a door. Usually small things. Don't get into other people's problems, just make it easier for them to bear their burden. You don't have to carry it. You can be a help by not being needy. It's not about you anyway. (I preached this long before Rick Warren got a hold of it. He may have stolen it from me! Well, I may have stolen it too!)

Third, make sure you bring something to do. I'm always prepared to pray. Usually, I have something to read. Sometimes I will have internet access and can use my iphone keep in touch. Sometimes I would bring paper and pen and write. More often than not, the only thing I get to is praying. There was a member of my former congregation who was sitting in the hospital hallway when the parent of the child in the ICU passed by. He was asked if he wanted to come in and visit. His response was no, he was doing what he needed to do - pray. And my friend went regularly to the hospital and diligently prayed for healing. He didn't need updates or doctor consults. Prayer covered it all.

Fourth, don't be anxious to leave. Number one, those you go to visit are on a timeless clock. Yours is of no consequence. Plus, when you wait and stay put, you may just be there at the right moment. Certainly if you pray, you are doing an important work. But if you can't wait around, why did you come by in the first place? Showing up - sticking around.

Fifth, speak when spoken to. Don't be anxious about what you are to say. Listen a lot. Be attentive to those you came to see. You don't have the right words to say anyway - and oh, did I mention - it's not about you.

I believe this Advent season we are, more than ever, sitting in the world's waiting room. We don't know the extent of the injuries to our culture, economy, world. We don't know what will happen. We feel powerless over the events that have shaped the current status of our lives and country and beyond. The people around us seem on the verge, the edge, and are anxious.

The above things may well be a good way to navigate. Most importantly the world needs us to be a non-anxious presence. You might be surprised by how much you make a difference by showing up, sticking around, listening, praying, being helpful to those outside your circle of friends. Advent is a good time for us Christian types. It can very well bring out the best in us.

Missional Church: A Field Guide - 6 New Realities

This is the first in a series of reflections on a new publication from Craig Van Gelder with Rick Rouse. It is called "A Field Guide for the Missional Congregation" (see it under my book recommendations). I want to take us through the book and see where it can help us develop missional congregations.

The first chapter is rhetorical by title as far as I'm concerned. It asks the question, "Does the Church Have a Future?" Anyone reading the book has already decided, Yes!" What that future is - truly is up for grabs. In this chapter the writers introduce 6 "new" realities. If you've been a missional reader over the last few years, these aren't new. But to many in our congregations they are still fresh perspectives. Let me comment on each.

New Reality 1. - The Collapse of Church Culture. Mike Regele in his book, The Death of the Church, opened with the Wizard of Oz line - "We're not in Kansas anymore!" This time has been called post-Christendom. Will Willimon described it in the book Resident Aliens some years ago by stating he knew Christendom had come to an end when the local movie theater began showing films on Sunday in his small Southern town. I would add to the description by saying that there is a growing movement away from institutional Christianity among some or even many Christians. And that those who are outside "the institutional Church" are not looking for it. The church isn't viewed as part of an answer in our current culture. It is often viewed as part of the problem.

New Reality 2. - The Shift from Church Growth to Kingdom Growth. Frost and Hirsch have described the North American church situation as a pie. The population within the Christian church is remaining static. The population of North America is growing. Which, when you look at it as a pie, means that the church is shrinking as a percentage of the overall population. They conclude that the church is only reaching those within their bounds and not reaching those outside. This is a shift that needs to become a reality. We have yet to address Kingdom Growth, which is non-territorial and non-competitive. The church will disappear if we see each other as the challenge.

New Reality 3. - A New Reformation - Releasing God's People for Ministry. Both evangelical and progressive theologies have espoused the need for us to become a church that affirms "every member a minister". If you read Ephesians 4 and see the role of pastors and teachers to "equip the saints for the work of ministry" this is not new. But most mainline churches have done a poor job of implementing what should be a reality in all churches. Our institutions are self-protective. So is the clergy. The truth is, because we don't engage the world outside the church much, we don't need the laity to do much. They are the ones in the world. Let's equip.

New Reality 4. - The Return to Spiritual Formation. It's not about praying more. It's not about using "God" or "Jesus" or "Holy Spirit" language more. It is first about being quiet before the Lord. It is about cultivating practices that help us see and hear what God is doing around us. It is also about cultivating a church who sees itself as a significant part of the Grand Narrative we read about in the Bible. We are in the boat with Jesus, in the desert with Moses, in the cave with Elijah, in the upper room with the disciples, on the road with Paul. God's story is being told through the story of the church today. Do we know it? Can we show it? Can we include those outside the church in this grand story? Our leadership needs to take its cues from the "story we find ourselves in" and lead from that story - including the world in what God is doing.

New Reality 5. - The Shift from Planning to Preparation. We can plan to death. We're good at it. And I don't think we're being told not to plan. But planning is often an attempt to remove all risk. The church needs to prepare for a journey, not knowing all the turns in the road. We need provisions and skills. We need wisdom and fortitude. We don't need another map. We need the willingness to follow. The writers use the Nike slogan - Just Do It! In some ways we know what is right to do most of the time. Now we need to do it. Willimon and Hauerwas in the aforementioned book said that what we need now more than anything is not more right thinking but right action. I agree. Equip hearts and minds to respond in faith - on the fly, not stuck in neutral as we plan.

New Reality 6. - The Rise of Apostolic Leadership. Alan Roxburgh in his excellent little book with the off-putting title - Leadership and Liminality describes the need for apostolic leadership. It is leadership that invites other on a journey with them. God is calling, leaders are following, others are joining. Are leader's lives being transformed? Are they headed outside the comfort of church culture into the world? Are they going with others? This is the beginning of an apostolic movement. Jesus says, "Come, follow me." Leaders will be first and foremost followers of Jesus - out there!