Table Fellowship: Setting the Table 2

From Danny Meyer: "Hospitality starts with the genuine enjoyment of doing something well for the purpose of bringing pleasure to other people. Whether that’s an attitude, a behavior, or an innate trait, it should become a primary motivation for coming to work every day. We strive to treat our guests the way we would want to be treated. The golden rule remains as fresh and meaningful as ever; and beyond how well it serves people in their lives, it may also be the most potent business strategy ever devised. In business, as in life, you get what you give. We try to apply a humanitarian viewpoint to every business challenge, to find creative, gracious solutions and reassure our guests that we are solidly on their side." P.244

Maybe it goes without saying but the Golden Rule is part of the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus says, "Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get." Matthew 7:12 The Message I like Peterson's emphasis, "grab the initiative and do it for them." Not to them.

This is maybe the simplest of commands and one of the hardest to keep in focus. We get side-tracked by so many concerns. We can get defensive. We can let the concern over how I am doing overshadow how the person opposite me feels. Even when I'm giving something it can be totally about me. I once had a person in our church who would question people we had cared for, whether in illness or life transition. They would approach the person and ask, "So, how did we do?!" On the surface it might seem like a simple customer survey - and it was! But it wasn't interested in the customer, it was interested in a good report card. It was all about us.

Are we genuinely concerned about others? Sometimes we approach people outside the church with an agenda, that we need to get our point across. We have something to deliver and it would be best if the "other" simply stood still until I'm finished. But the world doesn't need one more sermon. It needs us to be on their side. God is on the side of the world..."For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son..." To do this we need to be more intent on treating others as we would want to be treated. No self-interested, but selfless in interest.

When I think of what I want from someone else it's not much. I want to be heard, really listened to. I want someone who gets me. I want someone to show me that I'm worth spending time on. I want someone who shows genuine care for me. I want someone to respect me. I want someone to give me the benefit of the doubt. I want someone to be on my side.

What I don't need: Is advice unless I ask for it; Is to have the conversation switch to your story - where now I'm listening to what matters to you; An expert; A sycophant; A preacher.

The Church is called to be a people who are "for" others. What do you wish people would do for you? When you know, grab the intitiative and do it for them. This is good witness.

Comments

[Dick Oakley]

What I think we DO need from time to time is advice when we DON'T ask for it. Otherwise we run the risk of being seen as "unapproachable",aloof or not caring about the opinions of others.

Asking for advice puts the other person on the spot and minimizes the objective viewpoint one would get from "unasked for advice".